They’ve been studying it in humankind and the animal kingdom for centuries but there’s too many theories expounded and too many variables for anything to be guaranteed to be true.
All psychology can do is give you some clues are to why you are attracted to a guy you don’t like.
1. Does He Have Masculine or Feminine Features?
Believe it or not, but many women find feminine features on a man to be very attractive. Justin Bieber is very feminine looking and women love him. Channing Tatum has a mix of many features and big pouty girly lips, and women are very attracted to him.
2. Is It Your Time of the Month?
Speaking of masculine and feminine features, there are some women that are more attracted to masculine features when they are near their time of the month, and then revert to being attracted to female features when they are off their period. It may explain why you suddenly become infatuated with a guy for a short space of time.
3. Sometimes We Want What We Cannot Have
There are women that are attracted to married men for this very reason. We often want what we can’t have, and women are actually better at playing this game than men. Playing hard to get is not just a game; it is a way of improving your attractiveness to other men. If something is given away for free, is it worth working for or treating well?
4. Sometimes We Want What We “shouldn’t” Have
People really seemed to turn against Monica Lewinski when she had sexual relations with Bill Clinton, but she was just a young girl that was attracted to power and to the fact she could have something that she shouldn’t. It will be interesting to see how Hillary Clinton takes her revenge when she is the president, if she does.
5. He May Remind You of Another Person
This principle seems to affect women far more than it does men. We all have a “type”, which is fair enough, but there are times when you become attracted to a person because they look or act the way an ex did. Do not rule this out if you find you’re attracted to somebody you wouldn’t normally be attracted to.
6. Smells Seem to Make a Very Big Impact
There isn’t much to say on this one. Smells do seem to make some men more or less attractive. There are many women that are attracted to a man’s natural musk, and there are other women that just love embracing a man that smells good. It is not going to make you overlook his flaws, but it may have an impact on how attractive you find a man.
7. Some Women Are Attracted to Being a Little Scared
Ever wondered why women date criminals or men that appear scary? It is all due to a primal urge to breed with the most powerful man. A scary man evokes very deep and primal emotions. Sadly, yielding to this urge can be very self-destructive.
8. Does He Surprise You in Any Way?
The power of surprise is awesome. We are all hard-wired to follow patterns and habits. Yet, there is a small gland in our brains that releases a hormone when we are surprised. It sometimes leads to a shot of adrenaline that triggers the flight or fight instinct. The chemical is called Norepinephrine, and it is very similar to adrenaline, but small amounts have a limited effect. Think of it as the “double take” hormone.
You look at something and look away, your mind realizes it is different, the hormone kicks in, and you feel compelled to look again. When a man surprises you, this chemical is released, and some people find it pleasurable.
In the world of dating, women are so used to hearing and seeing the same thing, that a small surprise is actually nice and refreshing.
When the last 40 guys have opened the door and smiled for you, it is a surprise when one guy appears to open the door for you, but then closes it as you are about to enter. It is fun, it is teasing, and some women like it (who can blame them).
9. There is More to Attraction than You Think
Trying to understand why you are attracted to a man may be pointless. There may be thousands of reasons why you find one man more attractive than another, and the truth is that you may never understand why. Sometimes, staying away from the wrong guy is more an act of will power than anything else.
10. Do You Want Him Because Somebody else Wants Him?
This is a little bit like wanting what you can’t have, but there is more to it. Consider this scenario: A man walks into a club on his own and searches for his friends. His twin brother then walks in with two hot women on his arm, he gives them a hug and then finds his friends. Which is more attractive? We can justify this impulse in many ways. We place great value on the things other people have for some reason; just like when you are a kid and the ball your friend has seems more fun than the identical ball you have. You may also believe there is more to a man because other women are attracted to him, so you want to find out what the attraction is. There is also the biological impulse related to competition because you want the leader of the pack.
11. We Tend to Change What We Want Depending on What’s on Offer
Interview a single woman and she will list all the qualities she loves in a man. When she finds a man, ask her again six months later, and the qualities she looks for will have changed to match the man she has. For example, she used to want a guy with muscles, but now she wants a guy that is tender and sensitive. Men and women turn homosexual temporarily in prison because same-sex relationships are all that is on offer. A person with an unsatisfying social life will often be attracted to men she works with because they are there.
12. Are You Secretly Trying to Get Daddy Angry?
Some women are the opposite. Some women will have parents that prefer a certain type of man for them, so they find themselves attracted to that type of man. Other women are secretly, and maybe subconsciously, doing exactly what their dad would hate them to do. It is one of the reasons why some women’s taste in men seems to change after their fathers pass away.
13. Women Are Attracted to Money (kind of)
It is not really the money; it is what the money represents. It usually means a man is a better provider. It also means that a man may be more comfortable to be around. He can afford nicer clothes, sexier aftershave, and fancier cars. There are perks to dating a rich man. Dr Michael Dunn, of the University of Wales Institute in Cardiff has also proved that cars really do affect how attracted a woman is to a man.
14. A Masculine Energy is Often Attractive
Some men just seem to have an energy that is attractive. It seems to make them more charming, fun, or sexy. It is inexplicable but it exists. They seem to have an alluring charisma. It seems especially more powerful in person. Women seem able to hate a man when they away from him, but can’t help but find him alluring when they are in his company.
15. Some Women Secretly like Being Dominated
This is true both sexually and socially. Some women get a lot of comfort from a man taking charge. Maybe it is due to lingering daddy issues, or maybe it is part of a primal instinct.
16. People Seem to Be Attracted to Authority and Power
Women are often attracted to their bosses because they have power and authority. Women fall over themselves to date celebrities or richer men because they have authority and power. It relates back to a woman’s instinctive desire to be nurtured and cared for. Men are attracted to authority and power for the same reason, though they are more likely to pervert it so that their new girlfriend ends up becoming their new mother (the cleaner, the carer, the chef, etc).
17. Women like to Change It up a Little
Men and women are the same in this case. There are times when you simply get bored or tired of dating the same type of guy, so you change it up and date somebody that you would never normally go for. There is nothing wrong with this, and there may be more happiness in the world if men and women stopped chasing the same type.
18. Are Your Insecurities Forcing You to Be Attracted to Losers?
This header is a little unfair. All people have qualities that make them special. However, with that aside, are you allowing yourself to be attracted to a less desirable man because you are so insecure that you think you cannot do better? We as a species are very good at justifying things to ourselves after the fact. How many times have you heard your girlfriends justify the guy they’re dating with something lame like his car or the fact he is good to her daughter?
19. A Less Attractive Man May Treat You Better than a More Attractive Man
This is another unfair header, but you have to admit there is a little bit of truth behind it. A man that rarely gets dates is far more likely to treat you like a queen for fear of losing you. Ironically, if he had his head in his own life instead of being your man-slave, then you may find him more attractive.
Such a fascinating subject!