From The Avengers to Guardians of the Galaxy, people are here to drag these movies into oblivion as we sit back and eat some popcorn, laughing all the way.
1. Cap, you best keep your eye on your main man.
Seems like Bucky has a bit of a wandering eye, and I'm predicting that his and Steve's breakup will be the most devastating thing to happen in all of Infinity War.
2. Brought to by the franchise's newest installment: "Makeup Tips by Marvel."
I knew a good smokey eye made me stronger, but no one believed me. *Cancels gym membership, buys black eyeshadow*
3. Black Widow has had just about enough of her coworker's attitude.
She looks like she's about ready to head to HR and file a complaint about Tony so she can finally get her work done in peace.
4. I wondered why Tony and Aunt May got along so well.
It's okay, Peter, this happened before you were even born.
But actually, Only You, starring Robert Downey Jr. and Marisa Tomei, came out in 1994 — and Tom Holland, aka Spider-Man, was born in '96.
That's right, Spider-Man's a baby, y'all.
5. Everyone lay off Clint, he only has a limited supply of arrows, and he needs to count them every now and then.
If he doesn't, and he runs out, then he won't be such a critical part of the team.
6. Is there anyone else we can call? The Ghostbusters, perhaps?
I feel like they might be a little more qualified — and professional — when it comes to dealing with super strong bad guys.
I mean, they did defeat the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. Who can't they beat?
7. Low. Blows.
Especially since Michael Keaton is the only Batman who matters — no one even comes close to the king, not even Adam West. Yes, I said it. Don't @ me.
8. "Oh, hi Thor."
If you are not familiar with the genius that is The Room, then I would invite you to educate yourself immediately.
I would also pay a very large sum of money to watch a Thor sequel that is written, directed by, and starring Tommy Wiseau.
9. Civil War summed up in two lines.
This would have made for a very short, and much less action-packed thrill ride if Marvel decided to show us this CliffsNotes version of the movie.
10. Can we all agree that Thor's magical power was also in his long locks all along, and not in his hammer, as he thought?
I would totally buy this theory, and I think we were all blessed when his got his hair cut because, daang.
11. I don't think it's too much to ask for a musical version of Advertising
The Avengers. Give the people what they want, and the people want a choreographed dance where Ultron literally does the robot.
Should I ever write my own Marvel fanfiction, I would immediately tell people not to read it.
12. Seems like these superheros have one motto, and that motto is "YOLO."
I guess whatever works?
However, they aren't the best role models if you're trying to tell your kids to follow the rules.
"But Star Lord broke the rules, and he won his battle." Sigh.
13. T'Challa goes from hero to zero real quick in between movies.
You would think his swagger follows him all the way back to Wakanda, but it's like his home country is straight-up kryptonite to his coolness.
14. "Wow, guys. So rude." —Hawkeye, probably
But really, where in the bow and arrows is Hawkeye in the latest promo for Infinity War?!
Are they going to cut to him chewing on some wheat in a rocking chair on his farm while everyone else is saving the world? Because he'd probably be just as useful doing that as he would be fighting. Boom.
15. Apparently the Hulk stopped by the spa during his stay on Sakaar.
I mean, the people's champion does have an image to uphold.
We just thought that image was big, green, and scary — not throwing the Valencia filter on high in his latest post.
16. Nothing but respect for my Mary Poppins.
Yondu truly does hold the spirit of Mary in his heart; he took care of a young boy, he took him to fantastical lands, and he rocked a super stylish hat on his head.
