10+ Obnoxious Hipster Foods That Will Fill You With Rage

Hipsters receive an abundance of criticism from the masses who say they ruin just about everything they get their expertly manicured paws on.

Hipsters must be stopped!

Although haters can be unfair to them at times — more often than not — their vociferous naysayers have warranted gripes with the hipster class.

For example, what hipsters have done with and to food is nothing short of horrifying!

As if the emergence of gastropubs and organic juice bars on the corner of every gentrified neighborhood in America isn’t difficult enough to deal with, now hipsters are responsible for a plethora of maddening food trends.

And they MUST be stopped at all costs before we’re all eating kale cutlets and drinking Kombucha on a daily basis.


Don’t believe me?

Check out the infuriating gallery below!

Ramen Burger


The whole point of eating Ramen noodles is to save money. So if you’re able to afford grade-A beef for hamburgers, you’re probably in a fairly decent financial situation and simply have no need to consume Ramen — at least for an evening.

Plus, Ramen tastes better when you’re broke AF.

It is known.

Kale Soda


What in the overly expensive, Hollywood based Tantric yoga studio is going on here?

Kale smoothies already ooze with pretentiousness, and now we have to deal with rich health nuts demonizing everyone else for drinking even diet cola as they down Kale soda?

This is unacceptable!

Strawberry Pizza


First it was the Pineapple aficionados. Now we have to deal with hipsters using big beautiful strawberries as toppings on otherwise delicious pizzas.


Rainbow Grilled Cheese


Grilled cheese sandwiches are nothing short of delicious in virtually every single way they are prepared. But there’s never been a time in my life where I thought adding food coloring to one would somehow improve my grilled cheese experience.

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!

Pumpkin Spice Pizza


Ugh here we go again with the Pumpkin Spice-ification of America. It won’t be long before Starbucks starts selling this to every Tom, Dick, and Karen in the world…

Spaghetti Bagels


Everyone knows too much of a good thing is never a good thing.

Spaghetti = amazing. Bagels = heavenly.

But carb-loving hipsters have taken things too far by combing the two.


Charcoal Ice Cream


Part of what makes devouring soft serve ice cream so enjoyable is how pretty it looks before consumption. Thus, charcoal coloring takes all the fun out of that important aspect of the experience.

I can’t imagine many people have ever wondered what it feels like to ingest asphalt before ordering a cone at Carvel.

It’s simply unnecessary. But hipsters love being extra, so I suppose it’s not incredibly surprising to learn it’s becoming a popular trend…

Veganic Sprouted Brown Rice Cacao Crisps AKA Hipster Cocoa Krispies


Since not all hipsters are vegan (we would know if they were within a minute of meeting them) they don’t get all of the blame for this.

But Vegans + Hipsters = The Apocalypse. And we mustn’t allow them to ruin food as we know it!



If we know anything about hipsters, it’s that they can’t decide what to worship more between Kale and Avocado.

Kaleamole is like organic meth for those with lumberjack beards and obnoxiously thick-framed glasses…

Deconstructed Coffee


The whole deconstructed food trend needed to be deemed illegal yesterday. What in the world could possibly motivate someone to drink their coffee like this?

It’s not rocket science — we all know what an enjoyable ‘Cup O’ Joe’ consists of without the ingredients being separated and explained to us beforehand!



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