1. Sometimes we honestly have no idea WTF is wrong with your device.
But we'll try rebooting it and see if that works. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
2. We see a lot of pictures you might not want us to see.
We would never snoop through a person's device, ever. But sometimes people don't realize what they've left open on their screen when they hand it to us. *Cue awkward fumble to close tabs.*
3. We know when you're lying, even if we don't say it.
You can tell us you didn't drop your phone in water, but the liquid indicators inside your phone beg to differ.
4. If you're looking for special favors, manners go a long way.
Lots of people think they can scream their way into getting a free thing. It rarely works.
5. But most of the time, we have to play by the rules, no matter what.
Even the nicest folks. Sorry.
6. Employees aren't there to upsell you on something you don't need.
Our job is to match you to the device that's right for you, even if it's the cheapest model.
7. And, tbh, we don't actually care if you buy anything.
Most employees don't work on commission, anyway!
8. We don't actually give a shit when you mess with the display devices. Go wild!
Some of the things people do are pretty funny, tbh.
9. ...Because all those screens automatically reset themselves overnight, anyway.
Yeah, there's no way we'd be able to catch all those pranks ourselves.
10. We know that some people just come in to check their email or Facebook, and we don't mind!
We've got hundreds of devices lying around — go ahead and use them!
11. Yes, we've heard the "Are you really a GENIUS???" joke a thousand times before.
But we'll keep fake-laughing every time someone makes it.
12. The store can get really busy — even when it looks totally empty. Advertising
At any given moment, there could be dozens of people waiting on a Genius Bar appointment. They're not necessarily in the store!
13. We really don't know any of the juicy corporate secrets.
We aren't lying when we say we don't know when the new MacBook will come out or what the new iPhone will look like. They don't tell us that stuff.
14. No, we can't let you use our employee discount.
Has any store in the history of retail allowed this???
15. Product launch days can be really freaking stressful.
Long lines, sold-out products, loud crowds, impatient customers...it's a lot to handle.
16. But Apple makes the shifts a little more bearable with a lot of free food for employees.
Free pizza in the break room makes everything better.
17. There are a LOT of meltdowns at the Genius Bar.
We don't like to be the bearer of bad news, but sometimes that's our job.
18. But there are a lot of beautiful moments, too.
Helping a grandmother learn how to FaceTime her grandkids, helping a new mom recover deleted pictures of her baby...that's the stuff that makes the job worthwhile.