It’s kind of awesome to know that, as adults, people are still going back and making some really hilarious and/or scary images through kids coloring books. That being said, I have to say that some of these images have definitely messed with my childhood to some extent. And I can only imagine that there are other people out there whose childhoods would be destroyed!
Imagine if there was a film called Finding Emo instead of Finding Nemo. It paints a totally different picture. Or how about a Batman picture that is more flamboyant than Robin could ever hope to be? What if Ariel was a vampire!? Actually…that sounds pretty cool, but that’s beside the point. Below are the more appropriate of the wonderful collection of coloring book pictures that could ruin your childhood!
15. Grover Is A Satan Worshipper!?
I know a lot of people have some very interesting theories about who or what Grover is, but I would have been heartbroken if it came out that he was actually some sort of devil worshipper. I was raised Catholic, so I wouldn’t have been able to watch Sesame Street if my parents found out that he and Elmo led some sort of cult (which is funny considering that’s pretty well what the Catholic church is). Either way, this definitely spun me out for a bit. I could never have imagined these two iconic characters in league with some sort of satanic ritual stuff. But now…well, I’ll never be able to unsee it, that’s for sure. I’m sure this image will be pretty awesome for some people though, who wish that this is what they were raised with so it didn’t take them so long to come to Satan while living in their parents’ basement at age 32.
14. Is Yogi Is Allergic To Bees?
I loved watching Yogi when I was a kid. And now I’m afraid to watch it again. Yogi never went out of this way to invade a beehive, did he? I thought that’s what Winnie the Pooh did in every episode of his show! Yogi just went around stealing picnic baskets, teaching kids that it is definitely ok to steal if it’s going to get you a good meal. This image just kills my childhood though. Now, I’m sad thinking that Yogi was so desperate and must have run out of picnic baskets that he had to take on a hive of bees…knowing that he’s allergic and might not make it out alive! That’s so depressing to me. I mean, Yogi could be fine, and just very welted up from all the stings…but he doesn’t really look all that good from what I can see.
13. Is There A New SAW Movie!?
This is just terrifying. There are a couple of reasons for that. First of all, apart from the first film, the SAW movies suck. They’re just awful. They’re scary in the same way that Justin Bieber is scary. You have no idea why he’s so popular. There’s seems to be no real appeal. And for some reason, people want to emulate him. That’s pretty well the SAW franchise. So, seeing this little stuffy chained up with some scissors nearby makes me think that he’s going to have to cut his own leg off and hope not all of his stuffing comes out. That’s another scary thing. I loved my stuffed animals as a kid. I would be so depressed if they were cut up and lost all their stuffing. I would cry and cry, I’m sure. This has ruined my childhood if for no other reason than that SAW sucks and stuffy animals are awesome!
12. That Sea Lion Is Electrocuting His Pal!
Imagine if you went to a sea park like Marine Land or something to the same effect. Then imagine that during the sea lion show you saw one of the chubby guys grab a hair dryer, plug it in, and drop it into the pool where the other sea lion was swimming. Imagine the smell that would come off of the pool from the searing blubber on the poor creature! I’m not even sure if this coloring book image is from any sort of particular show, but I would be horrified if I came across this as a child. I have always loved animals and I hate to see them hurt. But I watched enough horror movies as a kid that I would definitely know what the hair dryer in the pool would do (at least if it was back when I was a kid…the dryer would just shut off now without shocking).
11. Now We’re Finding EMO
To be fair to this picture, Nemo was notoriously sad throughout most of the film Finding Nemo. I mean, he has trouble at home and with other fish, and then suddenly he has no family or friends to help him on his journey. He’s totally lost, and all he has is a fish with a memory problem following him around to keep him company. That sounds like a pretty bad deal. So, it does make perfect sense to draw him listening to some sort of emo music with his “Flock of Seagulls” hairdo, and a razor in one fin. But this really does destroy this part of my childhood a bit. I mean…I will never be able to see that movie again without thinking about him cutting himself with a razor! That’s pretty nasty. I don’t know when, if ever, I’ll watch it again, but it’s ruined for me if I do.
10. Ariel Is A Vampire!
Alright, so I have to start off by saying this is actually kind of awesome. Imagine if Ariel rescued Eric and instead of making sure he could breathe and fall in love with her and all that, she decided to turn him into a vampire so he could live with her forever! That being said, I bet that could quickly turn into a horror story for Eric who would surely want to get out of the deal at some point. So, this image kind of both ruins my childhood a little and makes it way more awesome. It’s kind of strange though, I have to say, that Ariel would be biting Eric’s face. Is she a zombie vampire? That’s kind of terrifying. If you added her to the mix with Ursula…I think I would actually be scared. I guess so long as she doesn’t bite Eric’s thing-a-ma-bobs.
9. The Very Flamboyant Batman!
I do have to start off by saying that my watching of Batman would have been very different if this was the style of the character I grew up with. I might have kept up more with the Marvel cartoons way more than I already did. That being said, I could really see this version of Batman actually being quite the hero for a lot of people around the world. I’m kind of surprised I never saw this image until I did the sourcing for this article. He should be paraded around on Pride Day, I think. So, I’ll be honest, if I had a topless rainbow Batman when I was growing up, I might have been more inclined to pay more attention to the tight, yellow-spandex-wearing Wolverine, just so I could get some attitude and manliness…
8. Oh My God, The Mafia Just Drowned Vinny!
I always loved these “use your imagination” pages in coloring books. It really freed you up from having to think about staying the lines when coloring. It was like you got to break free for a while and just create. Sure, it still gave directions. In this case “draw yourself swimming with a school of fish”. I love the adaptation since I am a huge mafia buff. But that doesn’t change the fact, if I were a kid, I would be very worried for Vinny’s safety. I mean…how is he supposed to swim to safety!? Do you see the blurred shark in the background!? Is Vinny being there going to disrupt the health of the coral next to him!? This image would have made me freak as a kid. Now, I find it hilarious (unless I put myself in Vinny’s wet shoes).
7. Did Mickey Just Burn Minnie At The Stake!?
Alright, I have to be totally honest here. Both of these images would have terrified me as a child. First of all, I definitely don’t want to know that Mickey wants me. That scary. He’s a mouse that speaks with a very strange voice and has magical powers. That’s terrifying. Then add the second image to that and it’s even worse. What did Minnie do to deserve that? Was she a witch? If he’s burning people who don’t believe, then I could have been next! It’s bad enough to know that Mickey wants me. I can’t imagine thinking, as a child, what I’d do knowing that he wants to burn me! Sure, you could use the excuse that he is just fake and you don’t have to worry, but I’ll never be able to play
6. Does This Make Frozen Scary Or Awesome!?
You know what…I might be ok with this one. But I could definitely see how it could ruin some childhoods, for sure. I just happen to be too old for Frozen stuff to really mess with my childhood. But, I am willing to bet that there are some people going through this article who were 11 or 12 when that movie came out, and now you’re going through The Richest to find out some cool new facts, or get the inside scoop on what the silly celebs are doing, or…OH MY GOD! Is that Ana and Elsa!? Are they zombies!? Are they going to eat Olaf!? To be fair, he’s made of snow, so it’s unlikely that he could really feel any of that anyway, and if the two sisters were zombies, it’s not like eating Olaf would help them at all in their search for chomping down on some brains.
5. Mario Is A Dominatrix!?
This is perhaps one of the most terrifying photos of Mario and Luigi I have ever seen. And I’ve seen some pretty messed up stuff about them. I mean, I’m not too shocked or upset over the rainbow unicorn outfit that Luigi has. there probably should be some sort of power-up that allows you to prance like a unicorn while firing rainbows at enemies. I think that could be pretty cool. But I’m really not sure about Mario being a dominatrix. I can’t help but think now that Princess Peach was never stolen away by Bowser. I bet she just runs away at the start of every game because she can’t handle the horrible things that Mario does to her. And that really messes with the way I used to see Mario and Luigi. And is Luigi a part of it too!?
4. Jesus And Disco…Two Very Scary Things
I was raised Catholic, so I’m used to a lot of Jesus talk. I was also raised by parents who were adults in the 70’s, so they still have their share of disco music kicking around. Both of these things sort of scare me so my childhood was already messed up by both Jesus and disco. But now, to see them both together…I’m not sure what to do with this. It really scares, in one sense…but then it kind of makes Jesus a little more awesome and a little less godly. And that’s pretty cool. Sure, he allegedly took away all our sins, but I think he’s humanized a lot more if we know that he had such bad taste that he would go and dance at a disco club. I bet he and John Travolta had some great talks about Christianity and Scientology!
3. Oh My!
I know there are plenty of kids who used to take magnifying glasses, harness the power of the Sun, and toast ants…just for fun. I always thought that those kids would be the ones to turn out to be completely sociopathic. I’ve not been entirely wrong so far as I’ve seen. But that’s not the point. The point is that this definitely ruins my childhood. As a lover of animals, even ants count. I get wanting to get rid of them if there’s an infestation in your home…but going out to where they naturally live and setting them on fire!? If you’re one of those people…you are really and seriously screwed up. Anyway, I would never have been able to color a page like that if I were a kid (or even now probably).
2. Who Knew The Sailor Was A Racist!?
I was a pretty innocent kid back in the day. I couldn’t imagine looking at this sailor guy here and thinking he’s a full-blown racist. Even if I saw the image to the right of him, I would probably be blissfully unaware of just what that flag on his hat means, or what the bottle he’s holding has in it. I wouldn’t think about slavery, or alcoholism, or the American Civil War, or any of that sh*t. I was just too sweet and innocent. But now, taking a look at this…I will never be able to unsee what sorts of horrible things this guy could have been guilty of doing. And I bet he’d get away with it all too because he was “too drunk” to know what was going on. Realistically, I’m reading way too much into this image, but that doesn’t stop it from messing with my childhood thoughts.
1. Mmmm…Brains For Dessert…
This is all sorts of messed up. If I was ever given this coloring sheet as a kid, I would have been terrified. At least, I think I would have been. Especially if I was given the innocent image on the left first. I would be so sad. “what happened to the poor little girl?” I’d ask. I’d wonder whose brains she’s holding and if she planned on finding the person so she could give them back. Of course, looking at it from my perspective now, I just think there was never really any innocence when growing up. There were always these nasty images around, I just didn’t know enough back then to be worried about them. And now, all I can think of is that the world has always been f*cked up and people have always been trying to mess me up too…and here we are, talking about ruined childhoods. Mission accomplished…