1. FACE WITH ROLLING EYES

Apple: Way to miss the point.
Google: Ugh. Oh boy. Nice one. NOT!
Samsung: Heh, heh. Neato.
2. SNAKE

Apple: Beware!
Google: Beware?
Samsung: Aww. Snakey-poo.
3. NERD FACE

Apple: Nerdy cuteness.
Google: Nerdy excitement!
Samsung: Nerdy astonishment!
4. COOKIE

Apple: Mmm. Delicious chocolate chips…
Google: Raisins? Nuts?
Samsung: Uh, thanks for the cookie?
5. LOUDLY CRYING FACE

Apple: River of tears.
Google: Waterfall of tears.
Samsung: Cast adrift on a lake of tears.
6. GHOST

Apple: Ready for a goofy good scare?!
Google: Me scary! (*wink*)
Samsung: (*clears throat*) Um, boo.
7. COUCH AND LAMP

Apple: Midcentury modern pad.
Google: Office waiting room.
Samsung: Haunted Victorian hotel.
8. CHIPMUNK

Apple: Cute? No. Please allow me my dignity.
Google: Tee hee. Cute!
Samsung: Where did I put those nuts…
9. OCTOPUS

Apple: Oh. You surprised me there.
Google: Boo! I surprise YOU!
Samsung: Hellooooooo, over there.
10. CAT FACE

Apple: Always identified more with the mice, actually.
Google: On the internet, everyone loves a cat!
Samsung: Your texts are tedious.
11. PIZZA

Apple: Pepperoni.
Google: Pepperoni and olives.
Samsung: Pepperoni, olives, and extra cheese.
12. MAN DANCING

Apple: Disco in the '70s.
Google: Miami Vice in the '80s.
Samsung: Dabbing, whipping, and nae-naeing at the middle school.
13. OLD MAN

Apple: More like middle-aged.
Google: Old and yet somehow babyish.
Samsung: Very prematurely grey kid.
14. RUNNING SHOE

Apple: Ready for the 5K.
Google: Ready for some stickball.
Samsung: Ready for the playground.
15. DETECTIVE

Apple: Experienced and ready to assist.
Google: No experience yet, but can’t wait to start!
Samsung: Seen too much.
16. PERSON SURFING

Apple: Awesome!
Google: Pretty fun.
Samsung: Whoa. Help.
17. FRAMED PICTURE

Apple: For the nursery.
Google: For the den.
Samsung: For the great hall.
18. DROOLING FACE

Apple: Sooo delicious…
Google: Sooo incomprehensible…
Samsung: Sooo disturbing…
19. CLAPPING HANDS

Apple: Pay attention!
Google: Polite applause.
Samsung: Hushed appreciation.
20. T-SHIRT

Apple: Casual Friday at the office.
Google: Saturday at the gym.
Samsung: Sunday on the couch.
21. PERSON FROWNING

Apple: Hurt and disappointed.
Google: Crushed and disappointed.
Samsung: Not gonna stand for it anymore.
22. FEARFUL FACE

Apple: Yikes! Aaack! No way!
Google: Oh dear! Why! I feel sick!
Samsung: Bzzzt! Yoinks!