Improving your intimate relationship is all about three things:
* Trust with your partner
* Willingness to break old ways of thinking
* Desire for a stronger intimate bond
5 WAYS TO EXPLORE INTIMACY WITH YOUR PARTNER
Intimacy is a connection to your partner that involves physical closeness, and an emotional connection. This intimacy is where our feelings of love come from. You may recall from our article about ways to make love to your partner without having sex that when you cuddle with your partner, your brain releases oxytocin.
Oxytocin is a pain-killer that can naturally rival what pregnant women in labor receive to dull their pain. No wonder we are addicted to love. Loving cuddling is like being addicted to this incredible natural painkiller. Let’s look at 5 ways to explore getting more intimacy with your partner.
1. THINK ABOUT YOUR IDEAL ENCOUNTERS
Start this process of exploring intimacy with your partner by thinking about your ideal encounters and then compare it to how your actual encounters with your partner are. If it’s not ideal, and you have a willing partner available to you, what is stopping you from asking for, and getting, the intimacy that you want with your partner?
2. LEARN ABOUT YOURSELF
You might have never thought about your sexual preferences before unless you were in a situation where something unusual to your current level of exploration was offered to you by a romantic partner. Then you had to make a decision, do I try this new way of being intimate, or don’t I?
Ask yourself these questions now. What am I unwilling to try? What do I already know that I enjoy intimately? What am I curious to learn more about with a willing partner?
3. DEVELOP YOUR INTIMATE COMMUNICATION WITH YOUR PARTNER
First of all, if you aren’t having ideal sex, and you have an available and willing partner, you either have not told your partner what you want sexually or your partner has already refused your offer. More likely than not, you never even asked.
Trust, even at our most vulnerable, is indeed important for an intimate bond. You want to be able to reveal to your partner your deepest desires and have them be accepting and open-minded for you.
Decide now to face your fears and ask your partner for your innermost fantasy. Remember that if your partner responds with anything other than acceptance, that is not a reflection on your sexual desires. Your sexual desire is not ethically wrong as long as it happens between two consenting partners.
4. EMBRACE SAFETY
There are bound to be fears associated with intimate exploration with your partner.
Some questions you may ask yourself include:
What does this mean for my sexuality? If I enjoy this, what does that mean for my identity? How do I embrace this part of my sexuality and yet hide it from people who I don’t want involved? What does it mean if I enjoy this intimate act? What if I get hurt, emotionally or physically? (Note: For your, and your partner’s safety, learn about what you’d like to try and start slow.)
5. MAKE AN APPOINTMENT WITH A LICENSED SEXUAL THERAPIST
There is no safer way to explore intimacy with your partner than by working with a professional. A licensed sexual therapist can help with problems such as premature ejaculation, failure to achieve orgasm for either men or women, psychological fears and anxieties about sex, and other problems that keep couples from having an excellent intimate life.
You can find a licensed intimacy counselor through the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT). These are ethically trained professionals who ‘share an interest in promoting understanding of human sexuality and healthy sexual behavior.’
AASECT’s website says ‘AASECT affirms the fundamental value of sexuality as an inherent, essential, and beneficial dimension of being human’ and it is indeed important to our well-being. If you want a healthy sex life, it is within your reach.