1. Your bodily smells are no longer a gray area
After a certain period of time, farts and burps just become amusing. On second thought, the ones that don’t smell like a decaying body or a fresh pile of crap, are amusing. Throughout the course of your relationship, the importance of hiding your farts and excusing your burps have slowly dwindled down because you both are more comfortable with each other. It is just another step deeper into a long-term relationship and this step is inevitable, so don’t try to stop it.
2. You both think it is necessary to narrate your pets life
There is something particularly amusing to the two of you for your animal to have a voice. On more than one occasion, either you or your other half has put words to their actions because it’s funny. They can’t talk, so we must talk for them.
3. You have seen each other wear the opposite sex’s clothing
This one is something that everyone won’t admit to, especially the men, but everyone has seen and done it. Women across the world have a sweater or two stretched out because someone thought it was funny to prance around in it along with their bra on. Guys have seen many sweaters move from their side of the closet to their other half’s. It is a normal thing in a long term relationship. A stretched out sweater is worth being stretched for the memory of a guy wearing it in combination with a bra and grabbing his imaginary boobs.
4. Morning breath doesn’t bother you as much
When the relationship was new, you creeped your way out of bed to brush your teeth and crawled back in before the other woke up. Now, morning breath is just another natural thing you need to get over because everyone has it and you both have accepted it. Mornings just consist of “Morning babe” with a huge smooch on the lips or cheek, maybe more if it’s a good morning.
5. Binge eating and watching Netflix all day is acceptable in your household
You both have had Saturday mornings where you rolled out of bed, made food, taken your dog out to pee as you narrated him finding his perfect pee spot, cooked breakfast and stayed in your PJ’s watching Netflix. This goes on all day and both of your stomachs are bottomless pits of hunger. This is perfectly acceptable because there is two of you doing it.
6. You use each other as an excuse to skip out on plans
You both just want to have a night in to watch TV and drink where it’s cheaper than $8 a beer. This is usually when one of you pretends to be the bad guy and has to act like you don’t want to go so the other person looks like they are legitimately trying to make the plans. In another occasion if both of you want to look like the good guy, one of you plays sick. In reality though, you are both terrible people and have accepted this because you rather watch Netflix in your sweats than pretend to be a good person anyways.
7. You can communicate telepathically
There are weird things that you do with your eyes when you are both at social gatherings, getting stopped by sales people or in a crowded place somewhere. There are expressions that mean stay away, I’m having a bad day, I”m hungry. If one of you suddenly lost the ability to either talk or hear, both of you will be fine off of facial expressions.
8. You both laugh when the other falls…and then stop when they don’t get up
There have been times at the beginning of your relationship where the other one falls and you rush to their side. Now, if one of them is…knocked down sideways because the dog ran right into them, for example, you now immediately die of laughter. You both laugh at each other falling down, tripping, or slipping. It is all good fun unless you don’t see them get up.
9. You both aren’t embarrassed to relive your childhood
The two of you on countless occasions have built forts, played with light sabers through the house, played with Legos, even if you don’t have a child, and have scared each other by hiding around the corners of the house. It’s normal, and it’s fun. Anyone who doesn’t accept this from the two of you are basically put on the list of “let’s make an excuse to get out of plans with them”.
10. You send each other text message when you are in the same area
There have been times where the both of you are sitting on the couch, or sitting at dinner and have sent a text message instead of physically talking. You have also use texting instead of getting out of the current room you are in to get your significant other’s attention.
11. Your bathroom is no longer a sacred domain
There was a point in your relationship where the bathroom was a place of solitude. Now, opening the door and doing what you need to do while your other half is in there is perfectly normal. Unless you’re the type of couple that likes a little mystery in their relationship…and mystery meaning that you don’t want to know what the other’s fresh poop smells like.
12. You people watch and make up stories
When you go out to eat or go to the mall, small talk is no longer needed because you know a lot, too much actually, about that person. The two of you now focus on people watching and making up stories of their lives to match what they look like. Sometimes it gets to a deeper level of weird and you narrate their conversations.