2. When you’re too drunk to move so just lie back and take it.
3. When he accidentally slips it in the wrong hole.
4. When she’s willing your dick to work but you’re wasted as fuck.
5. When you act like you’re enjoying it but inside you just want to sleep.
6. When it hits you just how fucked you are.
7. When you’re going at it so hard she’s just a drunken blur.
8. When you think you’re actually going to be sick.
9. And have to stop midway through to run to the toilet.
10. When they finish and you’re just relieved because it means you can go to sleep.
11. When you’re trying to thumb it in but you can both tell it’s a lost cause.
12. When you see how hard he’s having to concentrate just to keep it in.
13. When they finally hit the jackpot.
14. When they’re too drunk to warn you they’re about to come.
15. When they’ve been rubbing it up against your stomach for 10 minutes and it’s too awkward to even say anything.
16. When you’re trying to give a really great blow job but just can’t find the energy.
17. When it’s been going for an hour and you’re struggling to stay awake.
18. When you lie down on the bed trying to look seductive.
19. When you’ve brought them back from the club and realise too late that they’re a bit of an ogre.
20. When you both know it’s best just to close your eyes and imagine other people.
21. When they spank you so hard it slaps some sobriety into you.
22. When they’re too fucked to have proper control of their limbs.
23. And when they ask how it was for you.