I mean it!
2. …Ditto for “good for you!”
3. You have to smile twice as hard so people KNOW when you’re actually happy.
4. You loathe phone calls because you inevitably get asked “What’s wrong?”
5. People are consistently surprised to hear you talk to a puppy or baby.
Um, yes, the grumpy-voiced can ALSO do grumpy baby talk.
6. People often think you’re bored or over it when, really… it’s just your voice!
I mean, you’re boring, but I’m not bored rn. I’m fine!
7. You sound grumpier when you’re tired.
I’m not angry; I just need to nap for five days.
8. You merely mouth the words to “Happy Birthday” because if not it sounds like you’d rather the birthday person die.
You’re Ariana in this gif.
9. And you’re good at karaoke songs… about being really pissed off.
YOU… YOU… YOU OUGHTA KNOW!!!!
10. People constantly think you’re not interested when you’re just trying to be agreeable.
By “whatever,” I literally mean “EVERYTHING IS FINE. I LIKE IT ALL.”
11. You constantly have to assure people that, no, you’re not pissed off at them.
12. And then people can’t actually tell when you ARE mad.
13. You often hear “you’re not what I pictured” from people you’ve first talked to on the phone. Because they were picturing this:
14. Texting and talking online definitely help your social life.
And, let’s be real, you will never leave a voice message. Ever.
15. You often get off on the wrong foot with new people, because they assume from your tone that you weren’t into them when you met.
16. You basically have to laugh your way through job interviews to keep people from thinking you’re angry or over it.
Hahahaha please hire me hahaha!
17. And you find yourself laughing EXTRA hard on first dates so that people know when you’re into them.
I’m not upset! And I want to touch you very much a lot!
18. You often have to force a “cheery, professional voice” until you can go home and relax.
This is my Working Cheer Voice!
19. And you loathe giving presentations because it means forcing your voice to sound like EXTRA ENTHUSIASTIIIIIC!
20. You’re often afraid that people can’t tell when you’re flirting.
I LIKE YOU SO MUCH. Please like me and make out with my face.
21. People can pretty much never tell when you’re joking.
22. And you totally relate to Scarlett Johansson and her RGV.
Classic Resting Grumpy Voice.
(…And you know it sounds just fine.)