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I mean it!
2. …Ditto for “good for you!”
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No, really.
3. You have to smile twice as hard so people KNOW when you’re actually happy.
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4. You loathe phone calls because you inevitably get asked “What’s wrong?”
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NOTHING.
5. People are consistently surprised to hear you talk to a puppy or baby.
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Um, yes, the grumpy-voiced can ALSO do grumpy baby talk.
6. People often think you’re bored or over it when, really… it’s just your voice!
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I mean, you’re boring, but I’m not bored rn. I’m fine!
7. You sound grumpier when you’re tired.
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I’m not angry; I just need to nap for five days.
8. You merely mouth the words to “Happy Birthday” because if not it sounds like you’d rather the birthday person die.
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You’re Ariana in this gif.
9. And you’re good at karaoke songs… about being really pissed off.
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YOU… YOU… YOU OUGHTA KNOW!!!!
10. People constantly think you’re not interested when you’re just trying to be agreeable.
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By “whatever,” I literally mean “EVERYTHING IS FINE. I LIKE IT ALL.”
11. You constantly have to assure people that, no, you’re not pissed off at them.
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12. And then people can’t actually tell when you ARE mad.
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13. You often hear “you’re not what I pictured” from people you’ve first talked to on the phone. Because they were picturing this:
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14. Texting and talking online definitely help your social life.
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And, let’s be real, you will never leave a voice message. Ever.
15. You often get off on the wrong foot with new people, because they assume from your tone that you weren’t into them when you met.
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"Omg hi.”
16. You basically have to laugh your way through job interviews to keep people from thinking you’re angry or over it.
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Hahahaha please hire me hahaha!
17. And you find yourself laughing EXTRA hard on first dates so that people know when you’re into them.
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I’m not upset! And I want to touch you very much a lot!
18. You often have to force a “cheery, professional voice” until you can go home and relax.
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This is my Working Cheer Voice!
19. And you loathe giving presentations because it means forcing your voice to sound like EXTRA ENTHUSIASTIIIIIC!
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20. You’re often afraid that people can’t tell when you’re flirting.
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I LIKE YOU SO MUCH. Please like me and make out with my face.
21. People can pretty much never tell when you’re joking.
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Barum-ching!
22. And you totally relate to Scarlett Johansson and her RGV.
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Classic Resting Grumpy Voice.
(…And you know it sounds just fine.)
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