Yep. A herd of goats.
"When's lunch? And by lunch, I mean the entirety of my workday."
For the second time in two years, this team of goats is reporting for duty.
30 hardworking hires from Browsing Green Goats are grazing on the poison ivy, fallen debris, and overgrown vines invading the national historic landmark. And don't worry, thanks to evolutionary advancements and four-chambered stomachs, goats can process plants that would be toxic to other animals.
"We goats-ta get our work done," said this little fella, who's not afraid of a good pun.
This job is about much more than aesthetics; it's about preservation.
The vines in the cemetery can grow so large that they actually strangle trees. Those trees can then fall and damage the site's historic headstones. The 200-year-old cemetery is the final resting place for icons like composer John Philip Sousa and D.C. Mayor Marion Barry.
The goats are an economical, green solution to managing the overgrown property.
The 200-year-old Congressional Cemetery sits along the Anacostia River, so the staff wanted to choose an environmentally friendly solution to keep pesticides and other poisons out of the water.
Goats are the perfect groundskeepers, as they clear invasive plants and leave their own brand of fertilizer. They also create zero hydrocarbons and less noise pollution than their gas-guzzling mechanical counterparts.
Eating tin cans? Ain't nobody goat time for that.
Paul K. Williams, cemetery president and owner of the spookiest job title in America, told the media: "We were amazed two years ago at the sensation these little guys caused, but when we saw the excellent job they had done, it made complete sense to bring them back again."
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But goat grazing isn't just for historic sites. Herds of goats are being utilized across the country.
Goats are already providing services to the Google campus, large universities, and utility companies. The hungry animals are also finding work (and meals) at major airports.
Goats hard at work at Chicago's O'Hare International Airport. They're joined by two donkeys and a ram, who came with impeccable references.
Have a some yard work to do? Hire a goat!
Goats are a natural, affordable solution to traditional weed removal, and goat grazing businesses are popping up across the country. If you live in the Seattle metro area, you can even rent a goat on Amazon.
"We're on Amazon? You've goat-a be kidding me!"
So the next time you have some yard work to do, put down the weed-whacker and consider calling a furry, bearded, hungry friend out to your neighborhood. Especially if that furry, bearded, hungry friend is a goat.
See the Browsing Green Goats in action at Congressional Cemetery in this short video from CBS News:
