1. Don’t Question His Sanity
One of the key things not to say when he says I love you is something along the lines of ‘are you crazy?’. It will have taken a lot of courage and showing of vulnerability for him to step up and actually tell you how he feels. The last thing he wants is for you to brush it off as some sort of momentary lapse in judgement. You need to take his feelings in to account, and if it is the case where you don’t actually feel the same way, don’t pretend like his proclamation is just some silly game.
2. Don’t Say ‘I Know’
Sure, we all loved it when Han Solo replied in this fashion when Princess Leia finally admitted her love for him in Star Wars, but in real life it can be a really deflating response for a guy who is putting it all out there for you. I’m pretty sure that he’s going to want to hear something similar to his own words coming out of your mouth, but if you can’t bring yourself to say the three little words, then there are more tactful ways than ‘I know’!
3. Don’t Say It’s a Surprise
To be honest, if you have got to the point in a relationship where your boyfriend is ready to tell you that he loves you, then the actual saying of the words should not come as too big a surprise. If you really are shocked by it, then it might lead him to assess whether he is more invested in the relationship than you are. If you felt the same way, you should have been ready for it.
4. Don’t Flat out Reject Him
It’s really important at this crucial moment, even if you realise that you do not love him back, to handle the situation with tact and respect. The worst thing you can do is flat out reject his proclamation of love. It won’t look good on your part and it will really crush his confidence and feelings of self worth. I’m not saying you should just go along with it not to hurt his feelings; you just have to be careful with how you let him down.
5. Don’t Say It’s Too Early
You have to be aware that not you and you alone are responsible for setting the pace of the relationship. When somebody tells you that they love you, whether it is after one month or five years, their feelings are real, so don’t dismiss them by stating plainly that it is too early for such emotions.
6. Don’t Say ‘so What?’
You might be the most casual girl in the world normally, but you have to accept that somebody telling you that they love is a big deal, and you need to treat it like a big deal. A love revelation doesn’t just affect you; it affects the person who has laid it all on the line, so think about them and treat the situation with seriousness that it deserves.
7. Don’t Run Away
Please, please, please do not walk away from the situation and leave your boyfriend waiting along wondering what is going to happen next! Even if you don’t think you are going to be able to reciprocate the feelings, it’s important that you stay present in the moment with him to come to some sort of conclusion that you can both understand.