So why do people do it? If the need of deleting all Facebook memories is crucial during a somewhat traumatic event, why reactivate when things are going well? If Facebook caused a breakup, a ruining of a friendship, or started a petty political argument that lead to a ruined friendship, why would you join again?
Approval.
The way I see it, Facebook is a constant need of approval from fake friends for everything going on in your life. Do I participate in this debauchery? Of course I do! Am I saying every friend on your Facebook is fake? No. Do 350 people actually call you on your birthday and wish you a vocal “happy birthday!” No. If you’re not getting the approval you’re seeking in your relationship, don’t search for it on Facebook. I’ve been there, all broken hearted and lost, deleting my profile for months only to come back with a vengeance and a new selfie. If it makes you feel better, then fine, but know you need to approve of yourself to have a happy relationship with anyone.
Communicate.
Yes, you heard me…talk. Talk to your partner or friend or whoever it is that is pissing you off and work it out like a couple of humans. A passive aggressive post on your Facebook about deserving a certain kind of love is childish and quite frankly, a bit mundane. I’ve seen people actually post a status about their fight with all intentions to make their partner look like a horrible person! Well, maybe they are terrible but why are you inviting us in on your intimate fight? It’s disgusting. Sign off Facebook and go TALK to whoever it is that hurt you.
Envy.
Jealousy and envy doesn’t look good on anyone and personally it doesn’t feel very good either. My last somewhat long relationship started because of Facebook, so for people to act like it isn’t used for dating is ridiculous. If you choose to sign up for Facebook and you’re in a relationship, then say so. The old “I don’t want people in on my personal life” was long gone after you clicked “register”. Also, the couples that are constantly posting and portraying the “we are perfect” image is just that, an image. An obsession with their own image of each other is probably more important than the well being of their actual relationship.
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Stuck in the past.
This is probably the worst one. You basically get a blast from the past every time you log in to your account. Okay, this isn’t always a bad thing. The other day I had a reminder from 5 years ago and it was my precious little sister all bundled while I was walking her to the bus stop. Moments like those are great (thanks Facebook!). The not-so-sweet moments or pictures that make your heart drop a little is a constant reminder of things that are lost and will never be again. It’s probably a good thing it never will be, but a happy picture can tell your heart other wise! Move on, let it go, or log off.
Limitations.
Limiting Facebook use, especially when in a relationship, should be sought after. Put your phone down when your partner is talking, stop taking selfies when eating dinner and maybe try to be in the moment with that person. I love taking pictures and capturing moments when I’m in love, but maybe just keep some for the two of you. Social media isn’t going anywhere, but how we decide to use it can determine our relationships and privacy with that person.
Everyone’s Facebook experience is different and not all people succumb to these sad tactics in trying to be accepted. I just personally can’t find anything positive about it other than networking for a career or staying in touch with family dispersed all over the world.
Let’s all find a balance and filter how much we share on Facebook.
