Once upon a time, women were encouraged to follow The Rules, and guys are encouraged to play The Game, but it's 2016.
Dating life is different.
Some habits just aren't doing you any good.
Worse, they may be sabotaging your efforts to find the right person for you, no matter who that person is.
They're immature and, in some cases, totally unnecessary.
Just think about it, huh?
Take a look at these dating habits and, if you recognize them, consider how useful they actually are.
1. Playing Texting Games
I don't mean flirting or sexting through text – if that's your thing, go for it! I mean, getting angry if s/he doesn't text back right away, over-analyzing every message, and setting arbitrary texting rules that affect your behavior.
2. Having a Texting Relationship
Texting is efficient, convenient, fun, and fast, so, of course, it's easier to communicate that way. Still, once in a while, wouldn't it be nice to plan a date over the phone or in person? Wouldn't you prefer to have certain conversations in a more intimate setting? Don't let the entire beginning of your relationship occur through texts.
Snooping – or trying to snoop – through texts, emails, DMs, and photos is just bad news. Don't do that. If you feel the need to, this probably isn't going to last, anyway.
4. Setting Arbitrary Time Limits
If he doesn't text you back in an hour, he's cheating. She has to have sex with you on the third date. You have to be serious after a month of dating. Staaahhhp. Every relationship is different, every person is different, and there are no set rules!
5. Trying to Make Your New Boo Jealous
Oh, honey, no.
No, don't do that.
You never need to do that.
It's just not a good look – on anyone.
6. Withholding Something to Get What You Want
I like to get what I want, too. I get it. However, you shouldn't threaten to withhold dates, sex, or your Wifi password just to get your own way.
7. Acting Indifferent to Get Attention
Oh, you know the act. You act like you don't care about anything, you give the silent treatment, you launch a cold shoulder attack, and then you get all of your new partner's attention in that moment. Stop!
8. Flaking to Make Yourself Look Busy
That's just rude, not to mention manipulative and dishonest. If you something legitimately comes up, that's one thing, but don't flake just to make someone new think that you're a hot commodity.
You see it all the time today – screenshots of texts with someone new or screenshots of texts from a romantic rival. Don't put anyone on blast just to rile things up. It might backfire. Besides that, it's just kind of lame.
10. Playing Guessing Games
Don't make someone you're interested in try to guess why you're pissed or hurt or sad. Just be open. No one else can read your mind and they shouldn't have to. You're wonderful, beautiful, a goddess, but honey, you're not so special that everyone should automatically know what you're thinking.
11. Dredging up past Mistakes All the Time
Holding grudges won't do you any good. You can't use past mistakes as some kind of manipulative leverage in an argument, either. Reoccurring issues should be dealt with appropriately, but if you've forgiven someone, you can't keep beating them over the head with their past mistakes.
12. Constantly Comparing
Comparing your new partner to an ex. Comparing your relationship to other relationships. Comparing your dates to other dates. This is new. Don't compare it to other things.
13. Pretending to Be Someone You're Not
Even if you pretend to like sports or cooking or dancing to impress someone else, you need to stop. Tell the person you're open to exploring their passions, but don't pretend you love something you don't know anything about.
If you discover you're not interested in someone, tell them. Don't just disappear into the ether.
15. Settling for Less than What You Want
Don't settle just because you don't want to be alone. This leads to such disastrous relationships. The right person is out there. Don't lower your standards because you want to date someone, anyone, right this second.
16. Airing Your Dirty Laundry in Public
There's a time and a place to discuss issues, problems, past hurts, and current arguments. Here's a hint: it won't be when you're in public. That's embarrassing for both of you, not to mention the people around you, and it's not like you can really talk. You're just making a spectacle.
17. Always Threatening to Break up
In the first place, it's cruel.
In the second place, it's emotionally manipulative.
In the third place, you'll soon be like the little girl who cried break up.
In the fourth place, you'll make the other person actively want to split if you keep doing this.
Tell the truth.